This weekend was an eventful one. I got my first real massage. It started Friday night when my sister and our friend were aimlessly driving around trying to find something to do. It was late at night and most places were already closed. That's when we drove past a foot massage place. Now, I'm not sure if these are popular outside of Dallas, but they're popping up everywhere over here.

Our friend had already been to a similar place and convinced us to give this new one, despite the shotty location, a try. She mentioned that these types of places didn't require you to remove any clothing. Not that it was a big deal, but I wasn't...er...prepared. Look, it's winter and nobody has time to shave their legs, okay?

We walked in and were greeted by a woman who had way too much energy considering the time of night. I wasn't sure what we were about to get our selves into, but it would surely be an adventure.

The woman led us to a dim lit room with four low-set massage tables. We laid back and waited for our masseuses as our feet soaked in a tub of warm water. About five minutes later a woman and two men walked into the room. The woman went to my sister while the two men came to me and our friend.

I decided to close my eyes as the masseuse massaged my head. Keep it mind, it's late at night after a long work week. My eyelids were slowly becoming heavier and heavier. At this point I'm letting my thoughts drift off which I know I shouldn't do because I'll end up passing out. Too late, I'm already sleep. I realize this when a jolt through my body wakes me up. I hear the masseuses whispering to one another and giggling. Were they giggling because I had fallen asleep? No time to think too much about it because I'd already fallen asleep again.

 After about half an hour of massaging my head, shoulders, and arms my masseuse moves down to my feet. Cool. No problem. But then he rolls up my leggings and I wake up with my eyes practically bulge out of my head. Here's the thing, if I was going to get a pedicure, you better believe my legs would be nicely shaven with no trace of hair. I was completely mortified. I was so not prepared for this! I quietly cursed in whispers to myself as I stared up at the towel covering my eyes. Suddenly I was wide awake. I wouldn't have been half as embarrassed if my masseuse was a woman. At least she'd understand the struggle.

Twenty minutes later my masseuse pulled my leggings back down. He was done massaging me. Or so I thought. After a few seconds he began punching the bottom on my feet. I honestly couldn't write this without laughing out loud like a fool. It's hilarious now, but in the moment I was freaked out as it what was going on. Guys, it wasn't normal soft punches, it was legit punches that started at the bottom of my feet and went up towards my calves. And that's another thing...I thought that's how far it was going to go...up to my calves. Nope! He was fully committed to the awkwardness and began massaging my upper thigh near my pelvic bone. What. Is. Going. On.

At least I didn't get the guy who straddled himself over my friend to massage her thighs.

Yeah, this was definitely one for the books!